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Read after Black Sun 012.
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Point of View: Narrator
Featured Characters: Jeremy Hollinger, Julian Hollinger, Sandra Hollinger
Word Count: 965
The Hollingers have an awkward family breakfast.
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“Morning, kid. Toast!”
A buttered and jammed piece of toast went whizzing through the air. Julian dodged to the side, knocking against the door frame as it flew past it and landed jam side down on the hall carpet behind her.
“Dad!”
“Jeremy Hollinger!” a shrill voice chimed in unison with Julian, it’s source rising from the kitchen table in a flurry of motion to grab a towel from the counter and rush past the younger to pluck up the offending projectile and furiously try to wipe jam off the carpet. “We don’t THROW FOOD in this house! This is a family heirloom, YOUR family heritage!”
“It’s not my fault. She should have seen it coming.” he responded with a shrug of his shoulders, and just the faintest hint of mirth playing at the corner of his mouth. A new piece of toast was in his hands getting the buttered treatment.
Julian snorted, entering the kitchen and immediately heading for the french press full of coffee to pour herself a mug. “Why would I expect toast flying at my head?” Before she could take a sip the cup was snatched out of her hand and replaced with a glass of juice. Giving the surliest of pouts, she made a big show of dragging her feet to the table.
“You shouldn’t. This is EXACTLY why I want to hire a weekly maid service. How many years have I wasted being on my hands and knees scrubbing things off this carpet?” she complained. Most of it came up, thank goodness. The rug was saved from staining.
“Worse things than jam have been on that carpet, Sandra. I can distinctly remember it wasn’t scrubbing you were doing while on your kn-”
“EW! DAD! NO! WHY!” Julian squealed, throwing her hands over her ears. It was funny, but it was GROSS. They were her parents!
“You are being a SHIT!” choked out her mother, who was now rising quickly to her feet. Her face blushed a deep crimson red, made all the more noticeable with the light sandy blonde and grey hair framing her face. The jam covered dish towel got tossed at her husband.
In turn, he gasped, painting the most appalled and stunned look across his face while he clutched at his shirt. “Julian, she cursed at me! What vile tongued monster has taken over your sweet, gentle mother?!”
“Poltergeist?”
“A succubus?”
“Auntie Ophelia?”
“Hmm. Menopause.”
“That is QUITE enough from the two of you.” Her face was still crimson, but Sandra quickly reigned control back in by giving the two of them a withering stare. Both silenced (although neither could seem to keep a smirk suppressed) and she was free to bring a stack of plates over to the table and place a setting for each of them. “I hear there is supposed to be a Counselor meeting students at your school this week, Julian. Did something happen?” she asked, sliding in to her seat.
Jeremy Hollinger brought the food, only having to go back to retrieve his coffee before he took a seat at the head of the table. “It’s fine. They have a therapist come in once a year to talk to the kids about depression, suicide, addiction and teen pregnancy. I imagine there’s going to be a lot of condom balloons flying on the streets.”
“Speaking of,” her mother’s tone shifted slightly higher, “It is time we had the talk about sex.” Both Julian and her father choked. She on a spoonful of scrambled eggs, and her father nearly spitting all over the sleeve of his shirt.
“Oh god, Mum. Please no.”
“You are now that age where you are having all manner of sexual urges and it’s important to be educated about what your body is feeling!”
“Sandy…” her father started, his tone a little dry. “She has the internet. If she doesn’t already know everything there is to know about sex by now, we’ve raised an idiot.”
“Geeze, thanks a lot, Dad!” Wisely, however, Julian refrained from mentioning just what she did and didn’t know. “Whyyyyy are we even talking about this.”
Sandra gave her husband a scathing look, but smiled brightly at her daughter. “Well! Now that you’re seeing Owen in a intimate sense-”
“It wasn’t INTIMATE it was just a THING and we’re not any more! Wait. How did you even know!?” Julian looked horrified, but it was unclear if it was because of the conversation as a whole or because her summer boyfriend was SUPPOSED to be a secret.
“Your father told me. That’s too bad, sweetie! You should really be talking to me about your boy troubles. This is what mothers are for.”
“And probably not making out with on a guy on your father’s favorite chair in the middle of the day when you’re trying to be sneaky. Just FYI.” her father added.
Julian’s head tilted over the back of her chair and she groaned out loud. “This is the worst and most mortifying conversation of my entire life!”
“That’s not true. Your mother’s breakfast ambush about your first period was worse. I still can’t look at a cherry pie.”
“Oh my god.”
Sandra laughed, dropping her folding napkin on the table as she rose from her seat. She placed a kissed on the top of Jeremy’s head, and then one on Julian’s forehead despite the fact her daughter was still a melted puddle of limp, mortified limbs hanging all over her chair. “Let me drive you to school. You probably need to see that therapist now. Your Dad can do the dishes.”
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